Abu Nayif the Çorbacı said:
Thank the Almighty, and bless His Final Prophet. Now that I come to the end of my third moon I must begin by confessing — with a heart wrung by sorrow and a mind preoccupied with the horrors of the inevitable - that the Postmuslim cycle is already being halted. Temporarily, I piously pray to Allah, for maintaining said cycle’s rotation is a labour I shall always be grateful for the opportunity to perform. Whenever and wherever circumstances permit it.
For now, however — and pay no heed to what that pathological liar Youssef Rakha might tell you — circumstances do not.
Be that as it may I remain confident, my fellow Contraliberal, Cosmopolitan Postmuslim — white or non-Muslim though you may be — that you will appreciate my last-minute drive to weave together the strands I have been spinning into no doubt inadequate yarn, may He cover up our shortcomings. Indeed, among my few melancholy consolations as I depart this place of company to where I must needs be present — in silence, as I have always been outside The Book of the Sultan’s Seal — is the relative coherence and completeness with which I have managed to express two or three of the central ideas embedded in the fabric of my understanding. This gift of time and being, as is the gift of your patience, will remain deeply valuable to me.
For — this has been my message, and it is broadly to be added to and built upon, when and where I know not — to be a true Postmuslim in the world today one must be opposed to the excesses and absurdities of present-day liberalism and in favour of the profound and complex beauties of the cosmopolitan legacy (to be distinguished, may He keep your mind alert, from the idiocies and uglinesses of present-day multiculturalism).
My third, tentative tenet is that a Postmuslim will of necessity be a nostalgic creature. For — unlike liberalism, which we’re consciously against, or cosmopolitanism, which we concertedly embrace — nostalgia is not a matter of choice for us Postmuslims. Rather it is an essential condition of being. The choice is one of where to direct our nostalgia and how to express it. Unless it can be made to help the human substance of Islam be more and more meaningfully in the contemporary world, nostalgia will be an incurable sickness that must be prevented at all costs…
May God forgive His fallible servant and give you the generosity to put up with him. He is the All-Powerful, the All-Present. And He knows best.